What if My Child is Referred?
What to say if your child is referred to a center
INCAC centers provide one place in which trained professionals evaluate children of alleged abuse in a manner that reduces further victimization or trauma. The following guidelines may help in preparing your child for the center visit:
- Inform your child that he or she will be visiting a clinic to talk about what happened to them.
- Assure your child you will accompany him or her to the clinic, but that he or she will be talking alone to a person who talks to kids all the time.
- If your child receives a medical examination, explain that this is to make sure his or her body is healthy. Assure your child that this exam will not hurt and that the medical examiner will tell your child everything that he/she is doing before doing it.
What should I say to my child after the center evaluation?
- Listen. If your child wants to talk about the center interview and/or examination, listen. Again, follow his or her lead and avoid asking detailed questions. Do not be concerned if your child does not want to talk about the visit. Many children are "tired" of talking and just want to "get on with it."
- Thank your child for the center visit and acknowledge his or her courage. Assure your child of your love and support, no matter what was disclosed or determined during the center evaluation.
- Avoid leading your child to think that the center evaluation will end the process. Some cases continue into the legal system and require re-interviews or court testimony.
What About Counseling?
Abused children often do not feel as good about themselves as non-victimized children. Your child may also feel frustration, anger, guilt, fear and helplessness. Parents and other family members also need support and understanding. Remember that bad things happen to good people. Professional counseling can help you and your child through this stressful time.
